Bug Vanquisher: Funnier

Dear God, Why Brits?

Mon, 28 Jul 2008 15:51:00 GMT

Why do they have to talk about something when they don't know anything? Just the hype. Just the news they get from CNet/ZD Magazine/w-e. Just the little, tiny bits of information their minds retain.

Case in question:

Moore's Law in relation to manycore
Today, July 28, 2008, 8 hours ago | noreply@blogger.com (The Moth)
When most people's brains first light up on why parallelism is the next BigThing, some jump to the conclusion that Moore's law is over. Let's clear that up below.
All of you know Roger Moore's law which boils down to the prediction of
"the number of transistors on a chip will double about every two years"
clock speed increases and that is what has tricked most of us to associate Moore's law with CPU speed.
So, now that chip manufacturers cannot make single CPUs any faster (well, they can, but they can't cool them down enough to make them useful), they are resorting to having chips with multiple cores, which we are terming the manycore shift. The manycore shift has a profound impact on developers (especially those programming for the desktop client) in that their software now has to learn how to take advantage of parallelism.
So if you followed the logical flow so far, you'll conclude that Moore's law is still alive: we are still getting more silicon, but it does not translate to increased linear speed, but rather to parallel "engines" that your software must learn to utilise.
I am glad we cleared that up :)

Please read the funny stream of comments. And a bit unleashing of my own wrath.

I am glad you don't actually do anything in hardware industry.
First off, it is Gordon Moore not Roger Moore. Get your facts right before you post.
Second, holy parallelism has its own nemesis, the Amdhal's Law. You cannot go faster than 1/[portion of serial work] even with infinite processors.
Third, the problem isn't even cooling. They can't make the a transistor's channel short enough.

[Update: 30/07/08 As expected, my comment wasn’t approved.]

Memorable

Sat, 19 Jul 2008 11:12:27 GMT

Server Error
The server encountered an error and could not complete your request.
If the problem persists, please mail error@google.com and mention this error message and the query that caused it.

That is all.

Male vs. Female

Thu, 01 May 2008 19:31:13 GMT

[Notice: If you are not male, proceed with caution.]

A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:
'Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.
Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.
After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE Procedures have been developed. Please follow the Appropriate steps for your gender.'
*******************************
MALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.
*******************************
FEMALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided!
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake.

Storm or Strom?

Thu, 01 May 2008 18:25:17 GMT

EarthStorm's (probably a sucky movie because I don't like William Baldwin) name is written EarthStrom on HBO. :)

P.S. I should add "sarcastic" to the categories, soon. :) :)

Threat Levels

Wed, 30 Apr 2008 13:03:41 GMT

[Disclaimer: No intended offense to any English, French, Italian, German, Belgian, Spanish or Aussie reader who happens to come across this post.]

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." Londoners have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists themselves have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the great fire of 1666.

Also, the French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Surrender" and "Collaborate." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.

It's not only the English and French that are on a heightened level of alert. Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."

The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbor" and "Lose."

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

The Australian's level has increased from "What the f#ck?" to "Who the f#ck?". The next level for Australia will be "Well, f#ck me" all the way up to "Enough is a f#ckin nuff".

Who Says Harry Potter Is Worse?

Sun, 06 Apr 2008 19:53:35 GMT

There are thing far, far more worst than Harry Potter in the mortal world, mere mortals.

I am talking about 'The Davinci Code'. If Harry Potter movies were off the plot, The Davinci Code seems like the producer(s) and director(s) never read the wretched novel themselves.

By the looks, they had just the remotest idea of what was supposed to be in the novel and how they should produce the movie, which they then off shored to some sit-together, under-paid, road-killed Indian company. I half expected some cheap song to spring to front at the end.

Thank God I only spent 15 minutes watching the twisted end game. It is much better than the 90 minutes spent on 'Jarhead', where I couldn't decide the entire time whether I should continue watching it or not. That was the first for me in living history where I didn't make up my mind this long.

Best Spam Ever

Sat, 02 Feb 2008 18:55:33 GMT

This is the best piece of spam I ever got.

You're invited to:
2008 JOB EMPLOYMENTS IN OMNI MONT ROYAL HOTEL CANADA

By your host:
Paul Gill

Message:
The management of Omni city Hotel in Montreal Canada wishes to advertise through this medium for the Following Job Vacancy in our Hotel. Due to the expansion in our services and the opening of new outlets the hotel needs both men and female’s workers to fill in different categories of job openings. The Hotel management will take care of his/her flight ticket, accommodation, and will also exercise on your visa, if your are interested contact us; omnicity_hotel_canada22@yahoo.ca

Date:
Sunday January 27, 2008

Time:
2:00 pm - 3:00 pm (GMT +00:00)

Will you attend?
RSVP to this invitation

By all means, if you are interested, contact them in the next few hours. But I would like to see little more consistency like:

A hotel which "will take care of his/her flight ticket, accommodation, and will also exercise on your visa" does not have their own domain.

Screwed!

Sun, 13 Jan 2008 10:13:32 GMT

My Windows Vista installation, nothing personal. He he he...

I finally managed to get a no boot configuration after repeatedly trying to install Windows Vista SP1 RC refresh (yes, that's the official name). Finally, after wasting 90 minutes and constantly staring at "Reverting changes", I hit the reset button and it does not boot anymore.

Why I Hate VB?

Sun, 11 Nov 2007 08:14:11 GMT

Just read:

"Has anyone worked with a VB developer that was actually confused by this? I've worked with VB developers that get confused about LOTS of things... Never specifically this though :)"

One Down, Many More to Go

Mon, 05 Nov 2007 16:50:34 GMT

Raza had his words about the prevailing situation in the country. I must note that he and some other friends used to be strong supporters of Mushhi in the earlier days.

But I wonder how can we be in fourth Martial Law right now when it has been imposed since 1999? I do recommend that you grab a copy of Military Inc. and give it a read.

مزید پیار بھرے بول

Sat, 03 Nov 2007 17:28:41 GMT

http://www.thenews.com.pk/updates.asp?id=31605